


Liam's Genie

by ChainSmokesPens



Category: Original Work
Genre: Comedy, Djinni & Genies, Fantasy, Flash Fic, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:15:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28571373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChainSmokesPens/pseuds/ChainSmokesPens
Summary: Prompt: [WP] Genies are real yet are always malice enough to twist a wish from original meaning so to make the wish backfire, You work as an attorney that works to make sure a person's wish, etc.





	Liam's Genie

"Welcome, Mr. Chiseler. I'm Rashid Harvey and I'll be assisting you today."

Liam sat down, a ball of clothing clutched closely to his chest. "Just Liam's fine."

"Whatever you say, Mr. Chiseler." Rashid took a long draw from his coffee. Dealing with the supernatural for the past decade hardened him where his clients, neophytes to the occult and unseen, tended to be a bit more jumpy. "So, what can I assist you with?"

"This." Liam spent the next, long minute unwrapping the ball of clothes in his arms. A college hoodie, a couple of Christmas sweaters, some Sunday sweaters, and one that actually looked pretty nice were rapidly peeled away to reveal what lay at the center.

An oil lamp, solid gold, embroidered with glyph's more ancient than the civilization that crafted it. The handle was hooped, decorated with red and blue feathers; phoenix, likely. The way the spout sizzled and the air around it hazed indicated that it had been used within the last century and the genie trapped inside was still alive. Though, given the lack of tell-tale humming, the genie was likely on his last legs. If he didn't make a wish soon, he'd likely die.

Perfect. A genie near death was less likely to pull any tricks.

"Very fascinating. May I?"

"Sure." Liam reached down to the floor to grab a sweater, using it to protect his hands as he carefully picked up the lamp.

The muscles in Rashid's face twitched as he kept himself from instinctively rolling his eyes. He snatched the lamp by the handle and limply held it from his fingers, swaying. "Where do you acquire this?"

Liam proceeded to give a twenty minute story detailing the adventure he'd undertaken to find the lamp. In the length of that story, only two things of note were apparent to Rashid.

The lamp was found when Liam was spelunking.

Liam was a kid from Minnesota on a "Journey of Self-Discovery". Rashid let himself roll his eyes that time; Liam was too caught up in his epic tale to notice it anyway.

"So what do you want to wish for?"

The young man played with his thumbs. "I was thinking about world peace?"

Rashid didn't respond. He just stared at Liam, waiting for him to change his answer.

He didn't. "What's wrong with world peace?"

Rashid sighed and began twirling the lamp around his finger. "Okay, pretend I'm the genie in this lamp. What do you wish for, master?"

"I wish for world peace."

"Boom!" Rashid exclaimed, slamming the lamp onto the table. "All humans are dead."

"What?" Liam stood from his seat. "That's not what I asked for!"

"Well, it's what you got. Honestly, the wish for world peace is terrible. Entertainment is built on suffering you know? And a world without suffering is miserable."

"Okay." Liam thought for a moment. "Then I wish to meet my one true love."

Rashid chuckled. "Okay, that just doesn't exist."

"What?"

"Not that you can't wish for something that doesn't exist, but that's a bad wish."

"What's wrong with wishing for your one true love?"

"You mean to tell me out of seven billion people on the planet you can only find love with one?"

Liam muttered, "But I'm straight."

"Oh, three-point-five billion, my apologies. Seriously think beyond the kindergarten playground if you want to call upon the infinite power of the cosmos to help you." Rashid opened the top of the lamp and watched the galaxy within spin on its axis.

"Then I'd wish to be god!"

"Big 'g' or little 'g'? Almighty or nature or house? Forgotten, ancient, modern, or prophesied? See, your problem is vagueness."

Rashid walked around his desk and wrapped his arm around Liam, dropping the lamp into his lap. "When making a wish, be as specific as you can manage to be. Think of something physical that you want, rather than ethereal or metaphorical. And, if you can swing it, something you could achieve if you put the work in, but are too lazy to do for yourself."

Liam thought for a minute. Then, the smile of an epiphany spread across his face.

He began furiously rubbing the lamp. "No. No, no, no, not it here!" Rashid yelled. The hurricane winds erupting from the spout of the lamp whipped around his office. The he watched as the heat boiled the water in his potted plants, cooking them from the inside out. Black scorch marks spread across his wooden desk and bookshelf. Thank goodness for that arcane craftsmanship.

When the genie had risen, he looked down at Liam. "What is your wish master?"

**Author's Note:**

> This is one I'm a little less proud of. I could've given it a bit more time and care.


End file.
